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Showing posts with label Kentucky. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kentucky. Show all posts

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Who Is In The Room?

Slumdog Millionaire has spent three weeks at t...Image via WikipediaIf in a city that is 60% nonwhite, when you enter a room and almost everyone is white, and you are nonwhite, of course you notice. But then the term nonwhite does not define me. I am not non anything. The very term nonwhite is Eurocentric.
Topology: Wikipedia a major area of mathematics concerned with properties that are preserved under continuous deformations of objects, such as deformations that involve stretching, but no tearing or gluing. It emerged through the development of concepts from geometry and set theory, such as space, dimension, and transformation.
Ever since I was 10 I have mostly found myself in rooms where seeking cultural overlap was not exactly an option. Part of that is liberating. You enter into topology territory fast. The essence of what makes you human is not defined by if you have a limb or not. Cultural differences are a small matter compared to someone who might have missing legs.

Fractals: Mandelbrot

"I had no shoes and complained, until I met a man who had no feet."
- Indian Proverb

I can get anal about racism. In the past I have reorganized my life in ways that I might never have to meet in person ever again some people who made racist comments in my presence. They can go out there and commit a hate crime and I'd treat that as an item on the evening news. But then you come into my personal space and you make a racist comment, that is a huge problem. You are asking to be hit back. It is not about equal and opposite reaction. It is about hitting back with tremendous, disproportionate force.

It is that same sense of personal space that makes me so very individualistic. And, no, that is not American influence. It came from deep inside, and it came early. When I showed up in Kentucky, the Senior Class President for when I became SGA President as a freshman said, "Paramendra, you are more individualistic than any American I ever met."

That might explain my very natural bonding with people who might fit the profile of the white male. I don't begrudge a people their democracy, I don't begrudge a people their market institutions, I don't begrudge a people their education, their success.

But I am hugely leery of things like groupthink, and glass walls and ceilings. Rape and sex are not the same thing.

It is outright disgusting to watch the internalized prejudice play out among the Madhesis in Queens. It is beyond disgusting when a Pahadi Nepali in Queens casually utters the word "madisey" which is calling someone the n-word.

Slumdog Millionaire: A Movie About My People

And India is not a country but a continent. India is many peoples.

The price tag on putting up with a racist/sexist comment/attitude is 10 million dollars, at least 10 million dollars. Would you put up with it if that is what you saw?

You see women put up with sexist comments and attitudes all the time. I lose respect fast. No, it is not pragmatism. It is mostly habit of mind. They do it even if the guy is absolutely irrelevant to their career aspirations. Oh no, you don't want to be seen picking fights with a white guy. That seems to be the attitude. What the.

Barack Obama's father showed up in Hawaii, and this was in the 1950s, early 1960s. He goes to a bar and a white guy calls him nigger. He walks over to the white guy and patiently explains why he should not say that, and he goes on to talk at length about where he came from, his heritage.

The white guy paid his expenses for two semesters.

I have issues with that reaction. When someone called you a nigger, he committed a social crime. And it should not be your problem. It should be society's problem. And the fuck with the free lodging.

I was walking on the outskirts of this town in Kentucky. And this redneck slows down his truck, and when he is right next to me he yells, "Nigger, go back to you country!" This was in the late 1990s.

And he speeds away.

I burst out laughing. I had never thought I was black. I still don't. I mean, I am not. It was exotic to get called that. But then months later I heard one white guy student refer to Arabs as "sand niggers." This was years before 9/11.

This plays out in relationship scenarios. People talk about falling in love. I am deeply skeptical of the concept. I don't see a ton of that happening. The collective identity rules. And then, within that collective, people fall in love. That is more than 90% of the people. And I don't really even have problems with that. If shared interests are a reason to get together, shared cultures are also legitimate acts, but at least be honest about it.

All else equal I would rather go for someone from a different background. I am individualistic like that. My we feeling does not seem to come from shared cultural backgrounds. I just don't seem to roll that way.

Third World Guy
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Sunday, May 22, 2011

Southern Hospitality


Story 1

I showed up in Kentucky. For a few weeks I did not understand people. People did not understand me. I would ask questions in class. The professors would make me repeat a few times and give up. I spoke fast.

"Are you from New York?" someone asked me.

Never been was the correct answer.

Story 2

When I landed in America I could not have told you the cultural differences between Kentucky and California. Within a year I knew. Deep South. Bible Belt. That's a Heart Of Darkness of its own kind.

Story 3

"So you are from Nepal?"

"Yes."

"Do you go up Mount Everest during weekends?"

Story 4

Week one was orientation. I was talking to everyone, shaking every hand I could grab. One person I got to meet and later became friends with was Didre, black woman. She apparently had been watching me work the room.

"What are you? Some kind of a McDaddy?" she asked when I said hello to her.

"Whose Daddy?"

I had no idea what she was talking about. I had never come across the term.

Weeks later I was at another event working the room. I talked to these two girls, classmates. As I walked away I heard them say, "Maybe he comes from a culture where men marry several women."

A year later I am at the computer center sitting next to Glen on a Friday evening teasing the hell out of him. This was a small town in a dry county with nothing to do. You went to the local Walmart if you wanted to go out.

After about 20 minutes John, who was gay and sitting several computers away, said out loud, "Paramendra, if I were you I would not try so hard."

Glen was not amused. I was.

An hour later I read in the news online Mirza in Nepal had been shot dead. They pushed 42 bullets into his body.

Story 5

My first roommate and I did not get along at all well. It did not help that I decided to run for Freshman Class President and decided to call up every freshman in the phone book. Drove him nuts!

"T-h-a-t i-s n-o-t -h-o-w y-o-u d-o i-t!" he said.

Later he said, "Don't you think you are superior just because you are a foreigner!"

Soon we were leaving notes for each other on our desks. No more talk.

The school authorities found him a new room and rommate soon enough.

As for the election, I got trounced. Everyone else got more votes than me. But within six months of that I got myself elected student body president. They had to change the constitution so I could run as a freshman. I befriended the reigning SGA President Nick who rammed the amendment through the SGA Senate.

After I gave my speech to the entire student body when running, a friend came right after to tell me, "I did not understand a word you spoke, but you sounded so excited, I figured you might do something, so I voted for you!"

Brian and I are good friends now.

Story 6

Melody graduated at the end of my freshman year. She became an AmeriCorps volunteer. She was assigned to a school in Rock Castle County, which was a next door county. She asked me if I would like to show up and talk about Nepal to the kids. I said sure. This was in summer. I spoke to a class of elementary school kids and another class of high school kids. The young kids asked the more intelligent questions. After I was done talking one six year old walked over to me, shook my hand and said he was not going to wash his hand that day.

Story 7
Mount Everest from Kalapatthar.Image via Wikipedia
An Economics professor - Stolte - asked his class what they thought of when thought of Nepal. Noone said Everest or Buddha. Everyone said Paramendra.

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